Own goals

A photo of a Champions League game, or if you prefer: Fußballspiel Real Madrid gegen Bayern München. Ja! It is nicht sehr relevant, but there's something about the photo that will give the puerile of mind a giggle.

A photo of a Champions League game, or if you prefer: Fußballspiel Real Madrid gegen Bayern München. Ja! It is nicht sehr relevant.

Ángel Fernández Rugama was a radio commentator for Mexican network Televisa during the second half of last century and a trailblazer for the emotional sports commentary that has become reputable in the Spanish-speaking world.

Besides a longstanding career in early sports media, Fernández was known for embellishing the action for his public. Listeners would visualise a match far superior to what really took place.

That said…

Media has come a long way. Most sports events are available by some form of screen or another. There would be no place for Ferández in our world. Everything is readily available for repetition on Youtube.


The six goals Real Madrid scored against Schalke 04 this morning! The match took place during eastern Australian rush hour. No time to watch football. So you get to work and read all about it. The Spanish Marca and international press have made legends out of Gareth Bale and the BBC (Bale-Benzema-Cristiano). Apparently they did the unimaginable. Enough reading, where are the videos?

Why is it so hard to find a decent match summary?

Have you ever searched a UCL goal and found that someone has recreated it on Playstation and posted it on Youtube? Anything that is owned by FIFA or UEFA is readily erased from the net or has to be warped so that copyright hounds can’t find it. It’s all about who owns the goals. Otherwise you can look up ten-second snippets of the match, watch expanded or cropped imagery or browse social media to find a dodgy website that has the footage.

It takes less time to write a whinging article about the way FI-UE-FA chases away our interest in their possessions. You find the official app and they want a dollar just for the match highlights. These would have to be amazing highlights. Highlights of highlights.

You have dodged the powers that be! You knight yourself the Mara-Pelé-dona of net searching when you find something. It is definitely not a PS replay crafted by a ten-year-old PS genius. Your gem is a mute video of Gareth Bale’s, or someone’s feet. Team colours match. The feet dribble the ball, defenders fly past their target, falling like wounded heroes, a shot is fired, the ball burns a hole through the keeper then blazes across the stadium walls to a distant German paddock full of unfazed dairy cows! Emergency services are called to put out grass fires. Thin lines of smoke rise from Schalke’s net. This must be what everyone is talking about.

Back to work.


Words by Ben de Buen. Photo by bjarnith.