A-League predictions for 2014-15

The 2013-14 A-League season has ended. Brisbane Roar has won the double, Heart won the spoon, and the rest won nothing.

Pablo Contreras… oh caption this one yourselves folks.

Pablo Contreras… oh caption this one yourselves folks.

As the leaders in football thought in Australia (and perhaps the world, when we forget to take our pills), we present Thin White Line’s predictions for the 2014-25 A-League season:

  • Price of Cherry Ripes at in-stadium food emporiums to increase by 8.6%.
  • Kevin Muscat will be suspended for three matches for making a referee cry.
  • FoxSports will resist the urge to show the Poznan during a Wanderers game. FoxSports will fire the Director immediately after the game.
  • Sydney FC will appoint Mark Rudan as coach.
  • Sydney FC will sack Mark Rudan after five rounds.
  • Melbourne Victory will sort out the issues with the North Terrace.
  • One of the RBB capos’ triceps will explode while leading a chant.
  • Andy Harper will sign a new contract with FoxSports, where he’s paid a bonus for each new word he invents.
  • Perth Glory will play Melbourne Heart (or whatever the club will be called) at Mawson Station.
  • Seagulls at AAMI Park and Docklands will turn violent.
  • Mounted police will don dressage outfits for A-League games.
  • Flares compulsory, along with drunken punch-ups and offensive oversize banners.
  • FFA will work out how to settle racist abuse claims.
  • Josep Gombau’s All-Star dreams will come true.
"I want a bigger desk. And a shirt with sponsors' logos on it."

“I want a bigger desk. And a shirt with sponsors’ logos on it.”

So, what did we miss? The new expansion teams? How the new owners of WSW will shape up? The number of coaches that Perth Glory will churn through? Melbourne Heart/City/Googlewhack’s new colours? The lack of pasties at A-League venues?

Enjoy your football.