Stoke City vs Tottenham Hotspur 1969, Division 1

It's a fine line between prize giving and harassment, even if you are "incredibly photogenic"

It’s a fine line between prize giving and harassment, even if you are “incredibly photogenic”

By Miles McClagan

Programme: Stoke City vs Tottenham Hotspur (Division One)

Date: 11/01/1969

Score: 1-1

So here’s the thing: you need not go any further with this one for now than to acknowledge NO football programme is greater named than Stoke Citys “Ceramic City Clipper” …not a “magazine”, a “programme” or a “bulletin”, but a clipper of all things (a fancy name for a periodical, apparently).

For a team now best associated with Ryan Shawcross kicking lumps out of someone and the ghost of Rory Delap’s long throws, such progressive fancy thinking seems strange.

The programme (sorry, “clipper”) itself is a pretty interesting document.

First up, there’s the saga of Miss Stoke City 1968 – the “incredibly photogenic” and allegedly 17-year-old Helen, who’s reward was a pretty creepy hug from a judge on the cover, and then to hang out with a motley crue from Tean and Cheadle (what is yer man up the back in the tiny hat doing?)

Sadly for Helen, her busy trainee hairdressing schedule denied her a shot at being in the Daily Express.

Lucky for us, though, Harold Parker is around to bring us a dose of sober realism, and by the time you realise a company used the phrase “better go by PMT”, we hope you’ll agree spending time in the “Ceramic City” was well worth it…

Stoke City Clipper

You could honestly stare at this picture for hours – our man of the match is the gurner in the tiny hat up the back… You’ll find your own…

He reminisces about the 1898-99 season and is a fervent admirer of Eric Skeels. ULTIMATE. FOOTBALL. HIPSTER.

He reminisces about the 1898-99 season, wears vintage specs and is a fervent admirer of Eric Skeels.
ULTIMATE. FOOTBALL. HIPSTER.

There are old boys, and there are OLD boys – step forward Harold Parker, showing the joy a lifetime of watching Stoke will bring…

Stoke City Clipper

Another ad featuring beer in a glass with a handle.

More from our “manly pints” range, and the lesser spotted “rogue suede chukka” will never leave your feet…

"Let someone else do the driving" - sounds like an invitation to get blind drunk at Stoke City games.

“Let someone else do the driving” – sounds like an invitation to get blind drunk at Stoke City games.

You thought we were making it up a company really went with the slogan “Better go by PMT”, where the first line is “you feel twice as fresh”…

Stoke City Clipper

“Supple as silk” – is silk supple? Perhaps. Or maybe the copywriter had been drinking that amber stuff out of a glass with a handle.

“Who cares? You may, we don’t” didn’t quite catch on with consumers like “Just Do It” in the end…

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