Ultimate YouTube Holidays Football Viewing Guide

Stuck in the office? Or hiding from the family?

We have the solution: The Thin White Line Ultimate YouTube Holidays Football Viewing Guide.

Retrospective Punishment Episode 2

What is Retrospective Punishment? The best half-an-hour of viewing on YouTube.

Hero – 1986 Mexico World Cup official film

Music by Rick Wakeman. Rick Wakeman! And narrated by Michael Caine. Do we need to say any more?

An Ancient Melbourne Derby

Ancient might be overcooking it a bit, but despite being played only 20 years ago, this may as well have taken place on a planet in far-flung solar system. Features a young Mark Viduka full of running in front of a packed house at Somers St. It’s a far cry from watching A-League players whose first touch goes up in the air… Yes, that’s a cheap shot, but the internet was built for cheap shots.

But consider some of the great NSL names in the Melbourne Knights team:

Viduka. Joe Biskic. The Shovel. The Other Markovski. Andrew Marth.

South Melbourne was also packed with NSL greats:

Anastasiadis. Muscat (yes, that one, and with hair). Con Boutsianis. Mehmet Durakovic. Francis Awaritefe. Paul Wade.

This short video has it all. A great view of row after row of family sedans in the car park. Croatian flags in the crowd. A ref with an Andy Paschalidis-style moustache. Commentary by Paul Williams. A dusty goalmouth. Late afternoon lens flare.

Oh – and notice that sound after a goal: IT’S THE CROWD. Not a peep from the PA. Not even Seven  Nation Freakin’ Army.

Some anti-nostalgia

Australia vs AC Milan in Melbourne. One of the most farcical games played in Australia. Be glad you didn’t pay the best part of $100 in 1993 money for a front-row seat, where thanks to the advertising hoardings you could only see the players from the knee up and you only saw the ball when it was chipped. And did you get a full 90 minutes for your money? Er, no.

So don’t let those old fogeys tell you that everything was better in the 1990s.

Australia’s Greatest Ever Player

A great mullet and possibly a perm as well.

Watch this and see why John Markovski was Australia’s greatest player ever.

(Keep an eye out for the mullet-with-Adidas-Enforcers look on about 3m.)

Oh! Canada.

Returning to 1986… Canada qualified for the World Cup Finals in Mexico. To celebrate, they (whoever “they” are) put together this mind-boggling song.

Tevez

Next time you see Carlos Tevez running out for Juve, remember this.

And just because it’s Christmas

Remember when Spurs had magnificent players then sold them? Thank goodness that doesn’t happen any more!

Gareth Bale and Luka Modric would never collaborate to release a song as astonishing as this.

It reached #12 in the UK charts.