Chelsea vs LA Aztecs 1979

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs 1979

Stamford Bridge – the home of football, excitement, and spicy Dutch sausages.

By Miles McClagan

Programme: Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs

Date: 17 October 1979

Score: 2-0

At some point, cynicism about football comes in. As a kid, any game of football is exciting. Hell, I remember to this day the first day we got Eurosport and they had a 5-a-side tournament from Belgrade. LIVE! On Tv! Exciting times! Now? Europa League? Friendlies? Internationals? FA Cup? Can’t be bothered, what else is on?

So when I got the programme for this Chelsea friendly vs LA Aztecs from 1979, I liked to imagine a time when I’d have been really excited to go this “international club match”, how exciting it would be to mill around outside the ground, taking in the atmosphere, getting a traditional Dutch smoked sausage…

Yes, this is less a football game, more a glorious promotional exercise for the Dutch Meat Marketing board. There are Meat Queens (matron), there are sausages, there is talk of a “promotional train”, there’s Geoff Hurst having a snack. There’s sadly no way of quantifying whether any of this worked, but it is genius to tie an entire promotional campaign to a middling mid season friendly at Stamford Bridge.

Also – there’s no way to find out just how many people used their supplied red and yellow cards to, ahem, tell the referee in a fun way what they thought of this decision.

In short, it was a glorious evening. Sit back, enjoy, then take in a meaty meal in a moment, Janine demands it…

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs football programme

I’ll be honest, there’s no part of this page I don’t love, not a single wasted word…

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs football programme

There’s no way anyone in my home town could get away with claiming to be a Dutch Meat Queen without several jokes being made…

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs football programme

Didn’t this guy run Luigi’s Trattoria on “Ashes to Ashes”?

Great news fans – if you’ve had your fill of sausage, you can go and see Massimo for supper, a dance, a 15% discount…

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs football programme

Soon to be shipped off to the island of failed mascots, but with no way of knowing it yet, we present Dutchy to the masses.

Chelsea vs Los Angeles Aztecs football programme

An “American style” shoot-out. . . the prospect simply fills me with dread.

Be honest, how many people do you think REALLY “had fun” with referee Tony Glasson?