We don’t need another derby

Wellington PhoenixWellington Phoenix’s application for a ten-year A-League licence has been denied. There are persistent rumours of (yet) another Sydney-based team being added to the league. Of course, these two stories are unrelated.

Part of the Phoenix’s charm is that it is unlike the Australian A-League teams. Travelling to a Phoenix match is a genuine away trip. The team doesn’t wear a dull all-one-colour strip. They sometimes play in Lower Hutt. Lower Hutt! Take that, North Sydney Oval!

But New Zealand is part of the Oceania confederation. Remember Oceania? This presents a problem should Phoenix ever win the A-League and qualify for the Asian Champions League.

Then there’s the ongoing twaddle about Phoenix not contributing anything to the Australian game. Let’s not mention the Australian players (including Socceroos) who have played there, relaunched careers there, etc. Or the New Zealand players who started their careers there and then went on to play in championship-winning Australian A-League teams, boosting the competition for team selection, etc, etc.

Anyway, if you’re an A-League fan, make the most of this chance for an overseas regular season road trip. Sure, it’s windy in Wellington, but it has nightclubs and stuff like that. So get onto it… while you still can.

As for the Sydney triple-derby (yawn), it’s something best put into song:

Tina Turner we don't need another derby

Tina Turner by Helge Øverås – Own work. Licensed under CC BY 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons

Out of the ashes

Had risen the Phoenix

They weren’t the Kingz, not even the Knights

Oz ditched Oceania

To join up with Asia

But there’s a team we’ve left behind

And I wonder when we are ever gonna change

When another Lowy has taken up the reins

We don’t need another derby

We don’t need another “Sydney”

Is the FFA the Lowy family?

Phoenix is cashed up

The players get paid

But that’s not the A-League way these days

Y’know what’s missing?

A team from the Shire

With hairy big feet, they’ll win all their games

Can we just shift the Nix to “play” in New South Wales?

Play home games ‘cross the ditch – no-one will complain…

All the Kiwis say:

We don’t need another derby

We don’t need another face-off

And you’ll never see the haka without the Nix

So what do we do with these fans?

Will they move to Palmerston North?

Or join with Townsville and Gold Coast United?

In the “Clive Palmer League” –

Being bitter’s passé!

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK – featuring trumpeter from Melbourne City and Central Coast Mariners band)

We don’t need another derby

We don’t need another “Sydney”

All we want is relegation and promotion

All jokes aside, there is a soccer club in Wellington NSW. And this is a photo of their women’s team:

Wellington Wildcats